no puedo dormir.

I caaaaan't sleep.

That's probably because I slept like 12+ hours last night (not as wonderous as it sounds, too much sleep leads no zero alertness allllll day) and have been drinking diet coke like it's my job since noon. I do dumb things like this a lot. I have my alarm set for five hours from now (chances me getting out of bed at that time = 0%)

I'm at home this weekend, chillin with my family and insane (and by insane I mean awesome) dog, Smudge. Plus Caroline and Elizabeth. Because let's be real, what's the real reason I hit up Atown? [answer: to see Carol & Iz] I am in high demand in this place...every time I pop in for a visit, I get about 30 text messages from various friendy friends (Sally, I looove you) demanding to know why I did not inform them promptly upon my arrival that I would be here, thus producing a guilt trip like no other...I can't help it that I'm so popular. Because here's the issue: I hang out with my peeps, and then my parents get all offended that I didn't spend that time watching weird tv shows with them (because that's what they usually do, regardless of whether or not I'm home). Yeah...my life is hard.

Actually, my life is a soap opera. It would be a great sitcom, ask anyone. Exciting (and by exciting I mean stressful) things are always happening to me. I never get bored; I guess that is a plus. Buuut, my life being overly dramatic is why I came home. Shenanigans (and by shenanigans, I mean ridiculous things that juuuust don't happen to anyone else ever) went down this week, and they were the kind of shenanigans that just make you think about your life and what the heck you've been doing with it...and I don't even know what I'm saying, but I promise that I have a point. Anyway, it was an emotional couple of days and everyone was asking questions, and I just had to keep my mouth shut about it (WHICH IS SO HAAAARD FOR ME TO DO) and just needed to get away and hang out with God and figure out what He's been saying through this mess. So you know in Moby-Dick (you probably don't, I'm probably the only freak of nature who's weird enough to voluntarily read that book) when Ishmael is talking about wanting to knock everyones' hats off and just needs to get to the sea as fast as possible? Well that's what I did, I am taking to the sea. Usually when I do that, I'm running away from my problems...but I already fixed it, so it wasn't that. I just needed to get where I could shut out the world and just listen to Jesus. And this particular lesson has been like...4 years in the making, and if I tell you everything I figured out today, this will be the longest blog post in America.

(Here it is -->) Point: Usually, when you're so dependent on something and then start praying for God to shake away things in your life that are keeping you from keeping your eyes fixed only on Him, HE WILL DO IT. He'll answer that prayer, aaaand fast. And the thing about that is...it knocks you on your butt and it takes you a while to stop being a little girl about it. And then when you stand back up again, there's just this confidence that things are going to be so much better now that you've gotten a distraction out of your relationship with God. Because isn't it so unfortunate that we think we know what's best for us? We so don't, and things would be a lot easier if we just grasped God's sovereignty and rested in it more often. That's really what we're being called to dwell in. If God wants something to happen, it will. If he doesn't, it won't. And usually we can't see past the day we're stuck in. And that's because His ways are higher and better than ours, and...what's a better comfort than that? We're scared, and we think that God is holding back good things from us, and when we get stuck in that fear, we really start to question God's integrity, and think things like, "What if He's not really for me?" and "What if He's keeping something from me?" which are just complete and total lies. OF COURSE He is for us. No good thing does He withhold from us, I loooove that verse. What would life be like if we really trusted that...that no matter how awful we think our circumstances are, or get stuck when we get dealt a bad card...God is irrevocably for us and isn't ever going to hold something back from us. There's a lot of peace in that, and I want to start living in that right there.

I got dealt a pretty crappy hand this week. And it's probably going to mean that some things in my life change. But I know that it's okay...because God brought it about...so of course it's okay. Because I trust Him.

muy importante

So leave it to the one and only Sally Jackson to let me know that it's been too long since I last blogged! Love her.

Life is great! I'll tell you all about it -- list style:

1. Last week was Spring Break 2K9, whoop whoop! I went back home to Abingdon, VA the whole time and it was muy interesante, I'll tell you that much.

2. I had oral surgery on Monday! It was great. (Note: I like having surgery and yes, I do know how unique that trait happens to be.) However, there were slight complications. I would tell you, but I am a surgery nerd and the story's a little gross. I try to be sensitive for those of you who don't share my affinity for this stuff.

3. Oral surgery is not fun. Because you can't eat or talk or move or nap. And you're on drugs the whole time, so you don't remember dumb things that you do/talk about. AND I wasn't allowed to brush my teeth for 3 days. AND I have to use a toothbrush for babies. (Bonus: It has Eeyore on it.)

4. I made two road trips to Blacksburg! The first one was to see some high school friends who go to Radford and Virginia Tech (holla!) and the second one (drumroll please...) was to get my MacBook! It is very shiny and wonderful, but I am a recovering PC user, so if you would like to educate me about Apple, please holla!

5. My mother is going through her mid-life crisis (Note: reason for frivolous purchase of said MacBook). She bout the entire Emeril cookware set, and a deep fryer, and started asking me what I knew about the stock market...I don't like where this is headed.

6. 90% of break involved flapping around with Caroline, Elizabeth, and/or Bridget and it was just wonderful. Highlights include spending $30 at Taco Bell, new knowledge of all the words to "Man! I Feel Like A Woman", a reminder of my disdain for ice cream, and lots of talking about Jesus.

7. March 31 was the one year anniversary of the day I didn't get into Harvard!!! Whoop Whoop! And yes, maybe it's a little weird that I celebrate something that totally wrecked me at the time, because I was pretty crushed about it and went through a little crisis time, but it's the heart of my testimony because it forced me to stop looking at the world and start looking at Jesus and live in the midst of His perfection with the new knowledge that I neeeevvverrrr would be. My parents think I am a big big big freak, which is why the Harvard Party did not happen at mi casa. Caroline made me a cake. I think it's pretty ballin that I had to have surgery (thus confining me to home for the entirety of SB09) and got to celebrate the most important day of my life with the girls from my Bible study in high school (Caroline and Elizabeth, gold star if you met them during their visit!). They pretty much helped me get back on my feet after the whole "Hey, guess what, I didn't get into any of the 16 colleges I applied to" crisis and IT WAS AWESOME to have a week of being able to get quiet and reflect on my growth over the past year.



And that is just about it...now I'm back at Wofford (currently taking a "study break") and loving the fact that it is warm here and snowing back home! And I know what you're thinking ("But Amanda...I thought you loved snow!") and I'll just say that I had enough 40 degree days in Virginia...I'm ready for some sun! And I'm ready for Ab-Lab and Acorn Cafe nights and United and Marsh 2 shenanigans.

6 weeks left of freshman year, isn't that ridic? I can't believe it. This month is going to FLY and it's going to be HARD and I am EXCITED. I dropped my Religion class (The Christian Faith...which actually has nothing to do with the Christian faith...listen to people when they tell you that) so I'm hoping that my life will be a little bite easier. Yeah, right. I no longer have classes on Tu/Thu, so here's to hoping that I don't squander that study time by sleeping in until 11. Because that's not fair to the rest of you.

In other news...I got the best e-mail of all time today! I've been dabbling in philanthropic/non-profit/humanitarian organizations, mostly Compassion International, and they partnered with Flannel/Rob Bell and helped underwrite the newest NOOMA video! It came out this month and it's called Corner; here's its little summary from Flannel's website:

Why is it that often when we get what we want, we still feel empty? We work so hard to succeed, but our lives just end up becoming more about us. Can success turn on us? Can we get caught up in a smaller world where our lives are all about the things that we want? Or is there another way to live? Where life is about more than just us. Where we see people in need and we do something about it. Where our world is expanding because we are sharing our success. And maybe in attempting to save someone else from their suffering, we find out that we are actually the ones being saved.

Aaaand here's the link to watch it! I don't know if it will be up here forever, but here's hoping:
You definitely want to click this!


Also, I'm getting a pair of TOMS! Which is so exciting! Here's a fun pic:



My mom called me a hippie when I told her I wanted these. But that's okay. And Bennett said everyone would make fun of me if I got gold sparkly Toms...but if someone at Wofford can pull off a pair of gold sparkly Toms, I have a pretty good feeling that my name's all over that job description.


And that's all I have for now...back to work for me. Sad day, right? In the meantime, here are some ballin' songs that I can't get out of my head:

1. Can't Get Enough of Your Love - Barry White (don't judge me...)
2. Love Song for a Savior - Jars of Clay (the version from their Closer EP)
3. I Run To You - Lady Antebellum
4. Try A Little Tenderness - Michael Buble
5. Holy One - Rush of Fools
6. The Bride - Lecrae
7. Surely We Can Change - David Crowder Band

Now do me a favor...and have a great day!