Colorado Hiatus...

hi friends!

so this is to let the people who read this know that I'll probably not be blogging for about a month because I'll be on Summer Staff for Young Life at Frontier Ranch! Exciting! I'll be back in VA sometime around July 20th. I'm actually flying through GSP, so if you're in Spartanburg, chances pretty great are that I'll see you on my way through. I don't think I'll have internet access, but if I do, I'll be sure to hop on here and tell you some stories.

Have a blessed month, I know I will!

when did I get this obnoxious?

okay, quick post before I head off to the JamFest after party:

So tonight, one of our challenges at this youth thing I've been leading a team at all week was to come up with a team chant/song. So I sat down and rewrote "I'm On A Boat" (with all clean lyrics of course) to be about Tooth Fairies eating Spam (Tooth Fairies is the name of my team, Spam is the mascot of the week...you kind of have to be there to understand). And it was so goooood! I mean, I was impressed with it and the kids had fun getting up on stage and doing it, and we were so sure that we won! But THEN, they annoucned the winners, and said that my team was disqualified because in the rap, we said something about how we were gonna beat this one other team, the Bigfoot team, and so then they gave 1st place to that team. And I was so mad! Everyone had come up to us and said that we did the best, and that we were robbed, etc. I was so mad! And that distracted me the whole rest of the night, especially through the worship set and even into the speaker's message, which is so tragic. And then the speaker started talking about the book of Luke, about the prodigal son. He focused on the second son, the one that was a big jerk to the father when the backslidden son returned, and talked about how bad his attitude was, and what a shame that was.

And it was pretty much like he was talking to me, I might as well of had a big spotlight on me the whole dang time. Talk about a slap in the face. This whole week, I've been so focused on winning. And that's it. And every time my team comes in second, or gets DQ-d, or whatever, I sulk around and have such a bad attitude about it. That was me in high school, I always wanted to be the best, and unfortunately a lot of the time I was, but then when I lost or did poorly, I was obnoxious and had the worst attitude of all time. That challenge tonight wasn't about winning, and it wasn't about shoving my team spirit in the Bigfoot team's face, it was about getting those high school kids excited about being a team up on that stage. I felt like a pretty big loser when I figured that out; I failed as a leader today. I guess when you pray for humility, God will keep giving you opportunities to fall flat on your butt. Praise Him for that.

I don't want to have a bad attitude, and I'm so so so thrilled that God keeps on showing me that life isn't about winning, because that would mean life was about me, about us. But it's not, it's about Him and giving Him the glory! It's not about being a pragmatist, it's not about being competitive, it's about being selfless, and rejoicing when others rejoice, and about leaving the 99 to find the one that strayed, and celebrating when the one returns to the Father. I miss that, we all miss that. But oh man, I love God for speaking through things like He did for me tonight. It was just a game. So I'm gonna go to this after party with that attitude, and I'm gonna go to the church gym with that attitude, and man am I gonna start praying to keep that attitude no matter what I'm doing. The first shall be last and the last shall be first, right? Right.

tornado survivor!

that's right, I survived my very fist real live tornado. I mean, technically we aren't supposed to get those up here in the Appalachian mountains. I was at church, helping out with this big youth thing called JamFest, and we had to go down in the basement and hang out for a while. But everything's fine I guess, there's a big oak tree laying across my back porch, but as far as I know it didn't hit anything super important. Well except my friend's dog died, and if Smudge died in a storm, I would just totally fall apart. I wonder if it's bad to love my dog that much, but oh man I do.

So I mean, all this got me thinking about God of course. Because when you're sitting in a church basement and someone tells you there's a tornado outside, you really want to know where your family is all of a sudden. And of course none of them answered my text messages, so everyone was just freaking out, wanting to know where in town it was (and it actually touched down 2 miles from the church we were in). And I had gotten in a big argument with my parents before I left the house, so of course I was feeling wonderful about that. It's funny how God puts things into perspective for you that quickly. I'm constantly trying to examine my life and see where I have sin habits I'm not taking seriously, or places where I'm missing an opportunity to glorify God. And I walked out of my house and drove to church today, thinking "oh well, same old situation, this is hopeless just like it's always been" because getting along with my parents has just gone from bad to worse since I've been home for the summer. But man...God threw in that tornado and all of a sudden I was really on my knees, ashamed of my apathy. I think the tornado was just for me, really. The same God who can bring a storm can calm a storm, just like He can move a mountain. I forgot that today. God has really neat reminders.

In other news, I leave for Colorado on Friday and I have yet to start packing. Bad news bears. I can't believe I'll be gone for a month. I've never flown before, either. I've always had a fear of flying...big time, so I'm sure it's going to be stressful. Apparantly the Dallas airport has some kind of train inside to move people around between terminals, and I'm just like "what the heck!" but whaaatever. If 5-year-olds can do it, I can too.

My Chaco's and North Face backpack are supposed to come in the mail tomorrow; I'll finally be a real Young Life leader.

I bought the new Jonas Brothers CD (shut up) and it's not even good.

i am far too blessed

This is my new favorite picture ever. It is getting printed and framed and looked at all the time so so so very soon. And it's because of who's in it with me, and it's because I loved the day it was taken. It was this past Thursday, and man I am so sad that I can't fully explain how much joy I find in all of this, I guess you just have to know me. So anyway, I drove up to Rockbridge, which is the Young Life camp in VA to visit a bunch of my friends and leaders from high school who are on summer staff there, which I had been planning to do for a long time, but about a week ago I found out that Morgan was going to be there too. Icing on the cake. Man, it was such a God thing. The whole day. This whole summer, but especially Thusday. I mean...she was supposed to go to a camp out in Washington state, and so I sent her some message to find out when she was going to be there so I could send her mail, and Morgan never answers text messages so I thought it was a long shot anyway, but she did this time and I found out about Rockbridge, and do you know the feeling when you know God is just up there and there's this moment when you're just smiling at each other? Like my heart leapt and I just felt this communion of joy, like straight out of The Shack, where God was just right there in that moment with me and it was like my happiness in that moment made Him smile too. It's a pretty great feeling.

So anyway, I didn't tell her I was visiting, I just showed up and man, it was the greatest. The greatest. She's grown so much spiritually, and it was such a gift to experience that and talk to her about life and get to be a part of each others' for a couple of hours, for that matter. And maybe it's just me, or maybe it's because I've been listening to a lot of Frances Chan stuff lately, but I just feel like I can do anything, and that's because God is a part of who I am. And I've seen enough to know that He can do anything. I mean, look at what He did with Ninevah, and look what He did to me and my heart in light of what things were like at my high school and what things are like in my home life, and look what He's doing for Morgan. And all I want to do now is write Morgan letters and tell her how proud of her I am, and tell her about how I can just see God working in her and making this world, this place, more beautiful through her, and how that really shows me that God can just do anything. And it makes me want to go back to Spartanburg and tell my Young Life girls about that, and just sit around and really take the time to soak in what that really means. Because that's the biggest thing tugging on my heart, the urgency of that message, the urgency of who God is and what He's doing and what that should in turn compel us to do, I guess. It's not med school, honestly, and admitting that scares me. But I'm not really scared of anything anymore. Because maybe it's going to be going to med school and becoming a doctor and going out to the nations and making Jesus famous, and maybe it's Young Life staff, maybe something else, I don't know, but He does. I like to pretend that I know. But He turned my life upside down once with Harvard, and He's doing it again with my parents, and I wouldn't change any of that for anything, and actually, I'd like Him to do it again and I've been praying for Him to do it again because all this stuff has allowed me to see more of who God is and fall down on my face in awe of my insignificance and worship Him with humility.

Thursday made my heart so happy. Like...the rare, good kind of happy. It was probably one of my top ten favorite days; it made me think of where I am, and what I've been through...and I think about all the things the Lord has done for me, and I stop complaining and finding fault in things, and I just smile.

young life is my life

So this morning i actually woke up before noon (that is a big deal) and had coffee and doughnuts (things that are not organic -- also a big deal!) with Abingdon's Young Life Area Director, aka my friend Stacy Dooley. She's the jam. She's one of my peeps up here fo sho. My whole "summer of discernment" kick got me thinking that I really need someone older and smarter and cooler than me to help me grow in my faith and my walk with the Lord, so Stace Face is going to be my Summa 2K9 Life Coach and I'm really pumped about it. We're going to hang out a few times a week and study the Word and basically just figure out where I need to be more disciplined (everywhere!) in my walk, and fuel all that into being a rock star of a Young Life leader, which is really all I want in life.

I have a lot of goals for Byrnes Young Life in the fall. And I figured out that I've been all wrong with how I pray for my ministry with Young Life, I'm all "Hey God, this is really not what I'm used to, and I need you to be a magician and fix things." and it SHOULD be "Lord, I really want to see you move here" and I so do. Young Life has been my biggest challenge at Wofford (I thought it was Botany, but it turns out that I actually did better this semester than last semester) and I really want to step it up. Kyle will be abroad and I really feel like initiative is what's going to hold Byrnes together as a team. Stacy actually challenged me a ton with my attitude with YL in Spartanburg and I really want to focus on how I can change that and glorify God more with my ministry. Because that's all I really care about, with being a Bio major and with being a Young Life leader and with living my life. Because my life wouldn't be my life without Biology and it wouldn't be my life without Young Life. I need both, but I need God more.

Let's see...I've been watching a lot of movies about weddings. Because it's June, and it's wedding seasons, and I am really good at being a wedding guest. And a wedding reception guest. I have to miss a wedding when I'm in Colorado, sad day except not really.

Good news: Smudge has slept 40 out of the last 48 hours.