when did I get this obnoxious?

okay, quick post before I head off to the JamFest after party:

So tonight, one of our challenges at this youth thing I've been leading a team at all week was to come up with a team chant/song. So I sat down and rewrote "I'm On A Boat" (with all clean lyrics of course) to be about Tooth Fairies eating Spam (Tooth Fairies is the name of my team, Spam is the mascot of the week...you kind of have to be there to understand). And it was so goooood! I mean, I was impressed with it and the kids had fun getting up on stage and doing it, and we were so sure that we won! But THEN, they annoucned the winners, and said that my team was disqualified because in the rap, we said something about how we were gonna beat this one other team, the Bigfoot team, and so then they gave 1st place to that team. And I was so mad! Everyone had come up to us and said that we did the best, and that we were robbed, etc. I was so mad! And that distracted me the whole rest of the night, especially through the worship set and even into the speaker's message, which is so tragic. And then the speaker started talking about the book of Luke, about the prodigal son. He focused on the second son, the one that was a big jerk to the father when the backslidden son returned, and talked about how bad his attitude was, and what a shame that was.

And it was pretty much like he was talking to me, I might as well of had a big spotlight on me the whole dang time. Talk about a slap in the face. This whole week, I've been so focused on winning. And that's it. And every time my team comes in second, or gets DQ-d, or whatever, I sulk around and have such a bad attitude about it. That was me in high school, I always wanted to be the best, and unfortunately a lot of the time I was, but then when I lost or did poorly, I was obnoxious and had the worst attitude of all time. That challenge tonight wasn't about winning, and it wasn't about shoving my team spirit in the Bigfoot team's face, it was about getting those high school kids excited about being a team up on that stage. I felt like a pretty big loser when I figured that out; I failed as a leader today. I guess when you pray for humility, God will keep giving you opportunities to fall flat on your butt. Praise Him for that.

I don't want to have a bad attitude, and I'm so so so thrilled that God keeps on showing me that life isn't about winning, because that would mean life was about me, about us. But it's not, it's about Him and giving Him the glory! It's not about being a pragmatist, it's not about being competitive, it's about being selfless, and rejoicing when others rejoice, and about leaving the 99 to find the one that strayed, and celebrating when the one returns to the Father. I miss that, we all miss that. But oh man, I love God for speaking through things like He did for me tonight. It was just a game. So I'm gonna go to this after party with that attitude, and I'm gonna go to the church gym with that attitude, and man am I gonna start praying to keep that attitude no matter what I'm doing. The first shall be last and the last shall be first, right? Right.